You always said "I never want to be like my parents" but guess what, there it is. You are reliving your parents' marriage. You end up reliving what you saw your parents do before you were the age of five. During those early formative years, our minds were like sponges soaking up everything we heard and saw. We have a tendency to duplicate what we learned so if your parents had a happy, healthy and loving marriage then good, but if not it could be bad news.
Even a moron could figure out why we might want to duplicate our parents' marriage if it was a good one. On the other hand, it seems that not even a genius could figure out why in the world we would want to duplicate our parents' marriage if it was a bad one, but sometimes we do. We must accept the fact that we were put on earth to learn, evolve and grow so the reasons may not be all that complicated.
When we are children, we have a tendency to be very judgmental and all knowing. While we are watching our parents fighting and bickering, we tend to think "When I get married I will never talk to my husband/wife like that" or "I would never treat my husband/wife that way." The universe has a way of registering those thoughts and when we grow up, it seems to throw them back at us as if to say "okay little miss/mister smarty pants, let us see you do better."
When we are young, we have no idea how hard it is to make a living, raise a family or how stressful life is for a grown-up even under the best circumstances. Thus, we set in judgment of our parents while lacking the knowledge or compassion to understand what they are going through. Only after we grow up and go down the same destructive path, or a worse one, do we suddenly realize just how difficult life and love really are.
What lessons do you think the universe is trying to teach us at this point? How about not being so judgmental of others and forgive your parents for what they did and how they acted. If we are to get past the destructive relationship pattern, we must first forgive the ones that taught us the pattern, our parents. Without forgiving our parents first, we cannot stop the same actions and move on.
Once we have forgiven our parents, we can then move on to forgiving ourselves. This can be one of our hardest lessons of all. You have to stop beating yourself up for your previous actions, messed up relationships, destructive nature and vow to do better from this day forward. If we learn from our mistakes, we can begin to break the pattern and experience a more stable, loving and healthy relationship with our mate and the people around us.
If we are to have happy and wholesome relationships, if nothing else to show our children how to do it right, we need to learn to monitor our words, deeds and actions every day. We must learn to say what we mean and mean what we say, without being mean about it. Learn to be watchful and catch yourself before falling back into the same old destructive pattern. Once you learn to monitor your actions, you will create a habit of interacting with others in a more respectful, kinder way that will become a more natural act as time goes on. Soon you will find yourself with a more wholesome, healthy relationship that grow and flourish.
Author Resource:-
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